There are no words.
Only… every day of this unscheduled summer has brought tears to my eyes, whether through laughter, joy, or anger (mostly laughter). These guys just know how to do it right. They teach me about being in the moment, about creating your own fun, about being tough…
… and being tender. My boys, you fill up my heart and soul with laughter, wonder, and joy!
So fun! Doesn’t it warm your heart when the siblings play so well? I love watching M & H huddle together with legos or a book.
I also hear you regarding your earlier post about unplugging, and pulling away from the go go go often around childhood and our lives as we get older. It is something many friends and I have been having conversations about. I long for vacation times because of the laid back and let go feeling, and yet, we can’t live in vacation mode always. There has to be a balance of this journey of parenthood and life so that we (or I should say “I”) don’t feel like it goes so quickly that it will become a blur. Still trying to figure it out too…
I find I can’t stop thinking about your post from some days ago and it touches on larger points and experiences in all of us. Things I’ve been batting back and forth for so long now but the dialogue seems to be ramping up. The news has been so bleak this summer: Gaza, Ukraine, Iraq, Syria, refugees, Boko Haram, planes falling from the sky, Ebola, impeachment vogue, deadlock, the fail of capitalism, our broken democracy, etc etcetc. These days, it’s hard to muster that basic human propellant: hope.
While I can barely camp and I tip my hat to anyone who can go “off-grid” for any amount of time, but I think the debate rages to a larger point, no? People crave connection but everyone seems burnt (burned?) out. Hype circles and social media aren’t doing what they promised – in fact, they are making profit selling out digital behaviors to marketing companies and testing our consumer behavior with their device as the variable! I am the first one to reject technology – I have no cell phone and no facebook page and believe wholly that social media is for aging narcissists among us but I also understand it plays at a basic need for connection. But, its exploiting it.
That said, all of what we experience on the daily is noise. And its getting faster and bigger and more depressing. Was the world always this bad? Are things getting worse? Are the polar icecaps really melting? Am I happy? Is this is first world problem? WHAT THE FUCK SHOULD I REALLY BE WORRYING ABOUT!? Its all so confusing.
Reading the news makes me want to take off-grid to a whole other level and board a spaceship to Jupiter. The world needs to get its act together. Who was it recently that wrote a piece in The New Yorker about how people-humans NEED to tune out. It’s necessary, health and morally just. But what are the appropriate and healthy boundaries? Wouldn’t it be great if we could black out the news, noise and all the crap that makes us feel haggard, apathetic and depressed? Is that vacation syndrome or is it normal? Is it normal to not want snippets of connection, but real, honest-to-god connections with each other? How does one achieve this in our brave new world? And if we were able to check out completely, all the time, is that being a responsible world citizen? Do we as members of the larger world society have a responsibility to the people in Gaza, the health of Guinea, the behavior of politicians? Can we even make a difference? Is our frustration and apathy a result of feeling particularly small and helpless in this big, crazy, tech-connected world?
This piece on ‘want what you have not have what you want ‘ is great. http://www.nytimes.com/2014/07/20/opinion/sunday/arthur-c-brooks-love-people-not-pleasure.html?smid=pl-share&_r=0
What is happiness if not a personal pursuit, yet we are all somewhat responsible for it/each other. I’m no snake oil peddler but I’m going to continue to not have a phone (and people need to stop giving me trouble about it), and refusing to engage in trendy media and I’ll continue to love and forgive and give myself away even if it means hurt or rejection or pain. Mostly, because this life is hard and I’ve no idea what else to do. Did I make it worse? I made it worse didn’t I?
Ha, ha, no! Maggie, you did not make it worse! It’s all what I’ve been feeling too: the news, the constant “noise,” the craziness of social media, the frustration at the world that seems to be barreling down a very scary path. Really, you need to read “12 by 12,” it is answering some of those very questions (especially the “what is our responsibility to the larger world” kind of questions). Though I’m sure if any of us had the answer, we would be in a better spot globally.
It’s so bad, Maggie, I don’t know what to do! But you have a wonderful, open, joyful heart, friend. There are not enough people like you in this world.
I will pick up that book! If any of you figure it out in the meantime, I’ll be in the basement with a case of beer, Ramen Noodles and lots and lots of Kleenex. Send word when its okay to come out.
I, too, have been thinking about that post. It’s interesting, very poignant, and strikes a chord.
Also, I am kind of surprised that in all the talk about off-the-grid stuff, you haven’t mentioned “Walden”! Have you read it? The reflection on time spent alone, self-sufficiency, economics and even higher ideals of killing for food/vegetarianism and compassion have been written in it 160 years ago. I love the wilds as much as anyone, but what has made books like that, and also “Desert Sojourn” so relatable is that the outside words and its other denizens are not really cut out. And that even when Thoreau talks about going to the woods to live deliberately, he also makes it clear that he achieved his enlightenment, while living in a hut within miles of other people. He had made the conscious decision to pursue a solitary existence free of intervention.
There is so much to be said about the damage done by constant buzzing and the dump of useless information. Of course, I worry about my son, and what he will have to learn to filter. I like reading what the others are thinking, what amazing things the others question and resolve, all the comments are just amazing.
On a slightly related note, something that’s been bugging me, is this idea of how I’m going to raise my kid in the middle of a very large city, and not be a freaking helicopter. I try to remind myself that I grew up in a city of about 2 and a half million. I remember riding my bike around since I was in the single digits, and having adventures, and now- cherished memories of those adventures. Anyways, just wanted to share this article: http://www.seattleschild.com/article/dad-next-door-too-close-for-comfort
have a restful weekend 🙂
Adorable!
Veronika, I have not read Walden but it’s next on my list. Thank you for the link– off to read it now!
Emil in that chicken suit is just too much, the first picture is fantastic. It’s great to see that the discussion you ignited is continuing as well. Lots of interesting thoughts.