Whoa to the whoa. I don’t know who or where I am. Yes, it was like that. Maybe it’s because of Emil’s increased mobility and unintentional but sure naughtiness, but these past four days with Andrew out of town have been ridiculously hard. Impossible, at times. I don’t remember it being quite so hard during the last time I was on my own with the boys, so maybe we’ve reached that threshold and now things can only get easier (please tell me? Anyone?).
There were plenty of fun moments, but absolutely zero relaxing ones. I fell into a routine with the boys, but still couldn’t seem to stay on top of things the way I normally can when the older boys are in school for the mornings or when another adult can come relieve me of full-time parenthood at 5:30pm so I can cook dinner during what can be a very challenging time around here. What ended up happening was a whole lot of crying and carrying on from that point until dinner was on the table. I had to separate Milo and Oliver several times because they were at each other’s throats (due to exhaustion and hunger) while Emil hung on me crying and begging to be nursed (he is fighting a cold and the only comfort seems to come from breastfeeding more frequently).
At one point, during the high-drama portion of this show on Saturday afternoon, Oliver had his pants around his ankles tripping and yelling for me to help him with his pants while following me into the living room where I had to run because Emil had found a way to climb up onto the couch and was STANDING on the windowsill looking like he was about to end it all and at the very same moment Milo slipped and banged his head on the floor in the kitchen and why oh why do these things alway have to happen all at once?!! When everyone was safe and clothed and comforted, I actually stepped out the back door for a moment just so I could breathe.
And I’m just so tired. So very very tired. I feel a lot older than my age today. But I know things will get easier. Things will not be so chaotic and crazy and I won’t be needed so urgently all the time by these little crazy people who are my everything.
We did manage to have a lot of fun. We took an entire morning to explore the Science Center, and… yes, I cut Oliver’s hair. Please don’t hate me. It had to be done. I simply could not deal with trying to brush out the knots, deal with static and complaining about hair in his eyes and all that. So, behold:
We spent a lot of time exploring bird-related information this weekend. No reason. Just happened.
And this little critter is giving me a serious mini-heart-attack every five minutes. He climbs everything. And then lets go once he gets to the top. Like, okay, I’m done here.
Watching the wheels turning:
Andrew comes home later this afternoon, at which point I will fall into a coma for the next few days. What would you like to do, Lauren? — Be unconscious.
Dear sweet boys, I love you more than you will ever fathom. But you seriously just kicked my ass.