{"id":10122,"date":"2015-10-27T05:00:10","date_gmt":"2015-10-27T10:00:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.crumbbums.com\/?p=10122"},"modified":"2016-09-07T11:21:49","modified_gmt":"2016-09-07T16:21:49","slug":"fall-things","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.crumbbums.com\/?p=10122","title":{"rendered":"Fall Things"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a title=\"DSC_0047\" href=\"http:\/\/farm6.staticflickr.com\/5784\/22103591009_f222e583f7_s.jpg\" rel=\"\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter\" title=\"DSC_0047\" src=\"http:\/\/farm6.staticflickr.com\/5784\/22103591009_87f8259800_h.jpg\" alt=\"DSC_0047\" width=\"1600\" height=\"1143\" \/><\/a><a title=\"DSC_0068\" href=\"http:\/\/farm1.staticflickr.com\/675\/22264393846_483709dbb8_s.jpg\" rel=\"\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter\" title=\"DSC_0068\" src=\"http:\/\/farm1.staticflickr.com\/675\/22264393846_6ad0f657dc_h.jpg\" alt=\"DSC_0068\" width=\"1600\" height=\"1143\" \/><\/a><br \/>\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/akbzssr7mZk\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><a title=\"DSC_0021\" href=\"http:\/\/farm6.staticflickr.com\/5777\/22280377512_68773e0e5a_s.jpg\" rel=\"\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter\" title=\"DSC_0021\" src=\"http:\/\/farm6.staticflickr.com\/5777\/22280377512_0c7fc7eef2_h.jpg\" alt=\"DSC_0021\" width=\"1063\" height=\"1600\" \/><\/a><a title=\"DSC_0013\" href=\"http:\/\/farm6.staticflickr.com\/5707\/22427591992_eda62f691d_s.jpg\" rel=\"\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter\" title=\"DSC_0013\" src=\"http:\/\/farm6.staticflickr.com\/5707\/22427591992_61710c6787_h.jpg\" alt=\"DSC_0013\" width=\"1600\" height=\"1063\" \/><\/a><a title=\"DSC_0066\" href=\"http:\/\/farm6.staticflickr.com\/5795\/22264391796_b5bcb33f67_s.jpg\" rel=\"\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter\" title=\"DSC_0066\" src=\"http:\/\/farm6.staticflickr.com\/5795\/22264391796_89bdbf1074_h.jpg\" alt=\"DSC_0066\" width=\"1600\" height=\"1143\" \/><\/a><a title=\"DSC_0072\" href=\"http:\/\/farm6.staticflickr.com\/5665\/22103600729_b5a6d498e9_s.jpg\" rel=\"\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter\" title=\"DSC_0072\" src=\"http:\/\/farm6.staticflickr.com\/5665\/22103600729_3dd9cf5b10_h.jpg\" alt=\"DSC_0072\" width=\"1600\" height=\"1088\" \/><\/a><a title=\"DSC_0082\" href=\"http:\/\/farm1.staticflickr.com\/576\/22264398156_2f43feafd0_s.jpg\" rel=\"\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter\" title=\"DSC_0082\" src=\"http:\/\/farm1.staticflickr.com\/576\/22264398156_7b1c405a22_h.jpg\" alt=\"DSC_0082\" width=\"1600\" height=\"1063\" \/><\/a><a title=\"DSC_0048\" href=\"http:\/\/farm6.staticflickr.com\/5686\/21667670764_7217cbe550_s.jpg\" rel=\"\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter\" title=\"DSC_0048\" src=\"http:\/\/farm6.staticflickr.com\/5686\/21667670764_bc80f4ab50_h.jpg\" alt=\"DSC_0048\" width=\"1600\" height=\"1143\" \/><\/a><a title=\"DSC_0616\" href=\"http:\/\/farm1.staticflickr.com\/617\/22103598830_2d54696b7a_s.jpg\" rel=\"\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter\" title=\"DSC_0616\" src=\"http:\/\/farm1.staticflickr.com\/617\/22103598830_617d427564_h.jpg\" alt=\"DSC_0616\" width=\"1600\" height=\"1143\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>All fall things are getting to me lately. This season makes me especially sentimental and prone to an upwelling of emotions while driving to get the boys from school. It&#8217;s something about the light, the cool October breeze, the memories that come back to me every year about my father &#8212; more a feeling and presence of him than any particular memory. It&#8217;s not sadness, but a richness, a\u00a0<em>fullness<\/em>, a feeling hard to explain, somewhere between love and melancholy and everything you&#8217;ve ever felt, all hitting at the same time. I embrace the wrenching of my heart, the taking in of breath as it overcomes, seizes me; is he here? Next to me? Within me? Within them? His blood coursing through me, coursing through their strong growing boy bodies. Surely he is here, not too far.<\/p>\n<p>There is nothing, not one thing, I would change about feeling this feeling, even though it often brings me to tears at the most unlikely times. It represents my father and his impact on my life, it represents who we were as a family <em>before<\/em>, before he had to leave this life. We are people completely and forever changed by him, and in this way he lives on. I see him in the colors, the long light in the afternoons, the bright blue of the sky, I see him, through his eyes, when I look at his photography. I see him in my children, especially Oliver, when he daydreams or is listening intently to something. There is that slightly frowning, far away eyes,\u00a0<em>figuring-it-out<\/em> look that was part of my father&#8217;s face when he stepped back mid-stroke to behold a painting or photograph. That look, where everything else disappeared except his vision, is now part of Oliver.<a title=\"DSC_0617\" href=\"http:\/\/farm1.staticflickr.com\/688\/22291620995_e5c0777e86_s.jpg\" rel=\"\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter\" title=\"DSC_0617\" src=\"http:\/\/farm1.staticflickr.com\/688\/22291620995_f73dfc394c_h.jpg\" alt=\"DSC_0617\" width=\"1600\" height=\"1143\" \/><\/a><a title=\"DSC_0619\" href=\"http:\/\/farm1.staticflickr.com\/777\/22103606850_09734baf8e_s.jpg\" rel=\"\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter\" title=\"DSC_0619\" src=\"http:\/\/farm1.staticflickr.com\/777\/22103606850_c53d33544c_h.jpg\" alt=\"DSC_0619\" width=\"1600\" height=\"1143\" \/><\/a><a title=\"DSC_0628\" href=\"http:\/\/farm6.staticflickr.com\/5771\/21670611173_d6fe5f912e_s.jpg\" rel=\"\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter\" title=\"DSC_0628\" src=\"http:\/\/farm6.staticflickr.com\/5771\/21670611173_2cf0072b2e_h.jpg\" alt=\"DSC_0628\" width=\"1600\" height=\"1143\" \/><\/a><a title=\"DSC_0624\" href=\"http:\/\/farm1.staticflickr.com\/727\/22302189791_0a8185ea4f_s.jpg\" rel=\"\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter\" title=\"DSC_0624\" src=\"http:\/\/farm1.staticflickr.com\/727\/22302189791_3f5cf6278d_h.jpg\" alt=\"DSC_0624\" width=\"1600\" height=\"1143\" \/><\/a><a title=\"DSC_0007\" href=\"http:\/\/farm6.staticflickr.com\/5726\/22224020565_6a72a65c95_s.jpg\" rel=\"\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter\" title=\"DSC_0007\" src=\"http:\/\/farm6.staticflickr.com\/5726\/22224020565_428fa41508_h.jpg\" alt=\"DSC_0007\" width=\"1063\" height=\"1600\" \/><\/a><a title=\"DSC_0013\" href=\"http:\/\/farm6.staticflickr.com\/5707\/22036275818_efceea60d6_s.jpg\" rel=\"\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter\" title=\"DSC_0013\" src=\"http:\/\/farm6.staticflickr.com\/5707\/22036275818_940faf38ce_h.jpg\" alt=\"DSC_0013\" width=\"1600\" height=\"1143\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a title=\"DSC_0018\" href=\"http:\/\/farm6.staticflickr.com\/5619\/22422843986_c8a54be696_s.jpg\" rel=\"\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter\" title=\"DSC_0018\" src=\"http:\/\/farm6.staticflickr.com\/5619\/22422843986_614c1934e3_h.jpg\" alt=\"DSC_0018\" width=\"1600\" height=\"1143\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>All of fall belongs to him. My heart is full today.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>All fall things are getting to me lately. This season makes me especially sentimental and prone to an upwelling of emotions while driving to get the boys from school. It&#8217;s something about the light, the cool October breeze, the memories that come back to me every year about my father &#8212; more a feeling and &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.crumbbums.com\/?p=10122\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;Fall Things&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":10181,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[105,187],"tags":[60,48],"class_list":["post-10122","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-family","category-motherhood","tag-extended-family","tag-motherhood"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.crumbbums.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10122","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.crumbbums.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.crumbbums.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.crumbbums.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.crumbbums.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=10122"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/www.crumbbums.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10122\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10180,"href":"https:\/\/www.crumbbums.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10122\/revisions\/10180"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.crumbbums.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/10181"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.crumbbums.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=10122"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.crumbbums.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=10122"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.crumbbums.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=10122"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}