{"id":12681,"date":"2016-10-14T05:00:55","date_gmt":"2016-10-14T10:00:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.crumbbums.com\/?p=12681"},"modified":"2016-10-13T15:05:28","modified_gmt":"2016-10-13T20:05:28","slug":"glimpses","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.crumbbums.com\/?p=12681","title":{"rendered":"Glimpses"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"DSC_0022\"<\/a>\"DSC_0050\"<\/a><\/p>\n

glimpse
\n<\/strong>\/glim(p)s\/<\/p>\n

noun
\n<\/em>a momentary or partial view.<\/em><\/p>\n

verb
\nto see or perceive briefly or partially.<\/em><\/p>\n

\"DSC_0047\"<\/a>\"DSC_0019\"<\/a><\/p>\n

I spend one day a week dancing for three hours. I smile like a fool the whole time. I have moved up to the next level, leaving me catching my breath both literally and figuratively. There are real<\/em> dancers on either side of me who do not stumble. They are young and lithe and bouncy. One day I struggle to keep up, feeling a knot form in my throat — the feeling of frustration, of impatience with my learning curve, the feeling of failing at a test and having no one to blame. The next day, I feel on top of it all, a knot forming in my throat for a completely different reason — I feel like a\u00a0dancer.\u00a0<\/em>On those days, those days when I get a glimpse in the mirror of myself moving in a way I have never moved before, dancing beautifully and naturally, I feel a joy I cannot explain.<\/p>\n

They are only glimpses. Most of the time I am myself, my 36-year-old, mother-of-three, flawed, goofy, normal self, pretending to be a ballerina. But oh, those glimpses, they are worth every minute of frustration and awkwardness.<\/p>\n

Last week, at Home Depot, a tall graceful man said to me, “You’re a dancer” as a statement of fact. I was wearing normal clothes, picking up tiles for our bathroom wall. I didn’t know how to respond, because no, I’m definitely not a dancer. But then\u00a0yes<\/em>, my heart fills up when I dance. Everything else fades into the background. My sense of self, my other responsibilities, the fact that I am here, in this body, it all disappears, and there is only the movement and the feeling of it – how to explain it? Had I known how much joy I would feel from a place deep within my soul when I step into the studio and up to the barre, I would have started so long ago. Forever ago.<\/p>\n

\"DSC_0042\"<\/a>\"DSC_0062\"<\/a>\"DSC_0061\"<\/a><\/p>\n

And yet, none of that matters. I’m here now. I’m doing it now. So for now, I will take the glimpses. Every single glimpse.<\/p>\n

Mama, these pictures are for you!<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

glimpse \/glim(p)s\/ noun a momentary or partial view. verb to see or perceive briefly or partially.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":12686,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[187],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-12681","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-motherhood"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.crumbbums.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12681","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.crumbbums.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.crumbbums.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.crumbbums.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.crumbbums.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=12681"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.crumbbums.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12681\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":12685,"href":"https:\/\/www.crumbbums.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12681\/revisions\/12685"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.crumbbums.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/12686"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.crumbbums.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=12681"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.crumbbums.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=12681"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.crumbbums.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=12681"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}