{"id":3444,"date":"2012-10-08T05:00:30","date_gmt":"2012-10-08T10:00:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.crumbbums.com\/?p=3444"},"modified":"2016-09-27T11:30:16","modified_gmt":"2016-09-27T16:30:16","slug":"this-guy-and-our-weekend","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.crumbbums.com\/?p=3444","title":{"rendered":"This Guy and Our Weekend"},"content":{"rendered":"

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We have some really tired pups around here! After a week of just general dissatisfaction with everything in the world, Oliver hit an all-time high of displeasure this weekend. Here is a series of basically word-for-word conversations with the tortured young man:<\/p>\n

Oliver: Mama, I want to wear my “pactain (captain) Amewica” costume.<\/em><\/p>\n

Mama: Alright. Here it is. (I put the costume on him)\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Oliver: NOOOOOO!!!! I don’t want this\u00a0<\/em>shewt (shirt) on underneeeeffff!\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Mama: Alright, let’s take off that shirt. (Takes the shirt off and fastens costume)<\/em><\/p>\n

Oliver: (rolling around on the ground with a pained look on his face) NOOOO! NOT LIKE DIS!<\/em><\/p>\n

Mama: Would you like to wear something else underneath your costume?\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Oliver: YES! Pajamas. I want to weaw my awigatow (alligator) pajamas.<\/em><\/p>\n

Mama: (Goes into his room, brings him the alligator pj’s, attempts to help him get the costume off to put the pajamas on)<\/em><\/p>\n

Oliver: I DON’T WANT THOSE PANTS! (they are the pants of the alligator pajamas)<\/em><\/p>\n

Mama: Okay, which pants would you like?<\/em><\/p>\n

Oliver: OOOOOOOOOO-AAAAAAAAHHHHH! (screaming, crying, rolling, carrying on)<\/em><\/p>\n

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Mama: Lunch is ready! (sets down a grilled cheese sandwich, apple slices, and almonds<\/em><\/p>\n

Oliver: NOOOOOO! I wanted tricky triangles!!!! (sometimes I cut his sandwich into triangles but oh, no, not this time)<\/em><\/p>\n

Mama: Oh, sorry buddy! Well next time we’ll be sure to cut those triangles. But look! You can make these rectangles into a grilled cheese robot!<\/em><\/p>\n

Oliver: OOOOOOOO-AAAAAHHHHHHH! I don’t YIKE wo-bots! I’m NOT eatin’ dis!\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

(He sat there, crying into his plate for the duration of lunch while I took deep breaths in the other room)<\/em><\/p>\n

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Bedtime… in fact, every bedtime for the past 5 days:<\/em><\/p>\n

Oliver (screaming): I’M HUNGWEEEE! I NEED WATER! TUCK ME IN! NOT YIKE DAT! I WANT A BOOK IN MY BED! I WANT OATMEEEEEEAL! I WANT A TOY IN MY BED! I NEED MY BWANKET OVER MY HEAD!\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

I mean, really. He cried and screamed and carried on like that for 90 minutes straight on Saturday night. And it’s not like we were just ignoring the kid (though it did get to that point after so much trying to no avail). He just doesn’t know what he wants, is generally feeling mistreated and misunderstood, and nothing makes him happy– not even fulfilling his own requests. I mean, geez. Who knew bedtime\/dinnertime\/dress-up time could become such a hellish time for a three-year-old?<\/p>\n

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At least last night was better.<\/p>\n

In other news, Andrew is going through a really busy time work-wise, and is also training for the Philadelphia marathon in a few weeks. Busy! Oh! And yesterday, while Andrew was writing and I was cooking dinner, Emil got really quiet. Yeah. No worries. He was just hanging out in the fireplace.<\/p>\n

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But LOOK what he found! A lump of charcoal!<\/em><\/p>\n

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Good things that slipped into our crappy weekend? Andrew having a sip of scotch and playing the kids’ mini-guitar…<\/p>\n

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Brussels sprouts before baking (and burning– yeah, Pinterest. Suck it. Roasting anything at 450 degrees for 30 minutes will turn it black. Thanks for that.)<\/em><\/p>\n

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Milo decorated our entire house for Halloween, though! So dead bodies and bones and tombstones are hanging out in our yard, at least. Oy. Next weekend will be better, right?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

We have some really tired pups around here! After a week of just general dissatisfaction with everything in the world, Oliver hit an all-time high of displeasure this weekend. Here is a series of basically word-for-word conversations with the tortured young man: Oliver: Mama, I want to wear my “pactain (captain) Amewica” costume. Mama: Alright. … Continue reading “This Guy and Our Weekend”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":3450,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[187],"tags":[48,93],"class_list":["post-3444","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-motherhood","tag-motherhood","tag-oliver"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.crumbbums.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3444","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.crumbbums.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.crumbbums.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.crumbbums.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.crumbbums.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3444"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.crumbbums.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3444\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":12388,"href":"https:\/\/www.crumbbums.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3444\/revisions\/12388"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.crumbbums.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/3450"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.crumbbums.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3444"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.crumbbums.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3444"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.crumbbums.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3444"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}