{"id":6132,"date":"2013-10-24T05:00:43","date_gmt":"2013-10-24T10:00:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.crumbbums.com\/?p=6132"},"modified":"2016-09-26T17:43:36","modified_gmt":"2016-09-26T22:43:36","slug":"hammering-stuffbutting-heads","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.crumbbums.com\/?p=6132","title":{"rendered":"Hammering Stuff\/Butting Heads"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a title=\"DSC_0001\" href=\"http:\/\/farm4.static.flickr.com\/3708\/10349507184_afe8f57e58.jpg\" rel=\"\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone\" src=\"http:\/\/farm4.staticflickr.com\/3708\/10349507184_afe8f57e58_b.jpg\" alt=\"DSC_0001\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a title=\"DSC_0002\" href=\"http:\/\/farm4.static.flickr.com\/3723\/10349508934_cb5f0b0f00.jpg\" rel=\"\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone\" src=\"http:\/\/farm4.staticflickr.com\/3723\/10349508934_cb5f0b0f00_b.jpg\" alt=\"DSC_0002\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a title=\"DSC_0003\" href=\"http:\/\/farm8.static.flickr.com\/7309\/10349704663_87a261a63b.jpg\" rel=\"\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone\" src=\"http:\/\/farm8.staticflickr.com\/7309\/10349704663_87a261a63b_b.jpg\" alt=\"DSC_0003\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a title=\"DSC_0005\" href=\"http:\/\/farm3.static.flickr.com\/2894\/10349521136_369846f538.jpg\" rel=\"\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone\" src=\"http:\/\/farm3.staticflickr.com\/2894\/10349521136_369846f538_b.jpg\" alt=\"DSC_0005\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Oliver is currently in the middle of a &#8220;needy&#8221; phase. It involves some backsliding on independence. Suddenly he <em>needs\u00a0<\/em>help getting dressed, putting on shoes, reaching things, brushing his teeth. He <em>needs<\/em> help getting buckled into his car seat, something he has been doing on his own lately. He insists on being carried\u00a0from the car into the house sometimes. At face value, it seems ridiculous. At first thought, I wanted to push back, say no, tell him he was being silly. But pushing back against Oliver is like going up against a bulldozer. It needs to be done, sure. He is four years old and does not run the household, make the rules, or control everyone else&#8217;s day. That being said, I have learned to choose my battles carefully with this lad. Meeting his anger with anger, for instance, multiplies anger and the escalation gets us nowhere fast.<\/p>\n<p>When I thought hard about it, I realized that this has happened before. The backsliding, the neediness, the whininess and the sudden fearfulness in being alone on the second floor of our house- all of it comes on the heals of something big. A leap in development follows, if it is anything like past experience. So every afternoon when I pick him up from preschool, it is extra hugs and kisses, a bit of babying, really. I say yes to carrying him up the stairs and into our house, helping him with his shoes, walking upstairs with him to get his beloved hedgehog in broad daylight because it&#8217;s &#8220;<em>too sca-wee.&#8221; \u00a0<\/em>He&#8217;s little, still, even when he is not as little as his little brother. I repeat this to myself when the demands seem unfounded, I feel stretched and tired and at my wit&#8217;s end. <a title=\"DSC_0007\" href=\"http:\/\/farm4.static.flickr.com\/3681\/10349519745_9af16735c6.jpg\" rel=\"\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone\" src=\"http:\/\/farm4.staticflickr.com\/3681\/10349519745_9af16735c6_b.jpg\" alt=\"DSC_0007\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a title=\"DSC_0015\" href=\"http:\/\/farm6.static.flickr.com\/5550\/10349522405_149e632696.jpg\" rel=\"\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone\" src=\"http:\/\/farm6.staticflickr.com\/5550\/10349522405_149e632696_b.jpg\" alt=\"DSC_0015\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a title=\"DSC_0021\" href=\"http:\/\/farm6.static.flickr.com\/5489\/10349517714_ea6dbd9646.jpg\" rel=\"\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone\" src=\"http:\/\/farm6.staticflickr.com\/5489\/10349517714_ea6dbd9646_b.jpg\" alt=\"DSC_0021\" \/><\/a>He is little. Until he suddenly isn&#8217;t anymore.<\/p>\n<p><em>P.s.- Oliver came up with this activity when he found a small tack hammer and some styrofoam pieces in the basement left over from who-knows-what. He asked me for some nails, and I suggested toothpicks instead. Voila! He made a porcupine! And yes, I am aware of the irony of his independence and creativity in coming up with this task, while in the same day claiming he cannot put two pieces of velcro together&#8230; such is the dichotomy of Oliver.\u00a0<\/em><i><br \/>\n<\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Oliver is currently in the middle of a &#8220;needy&#8221; phase. It involves some backsliding on independence. Suddenly he needs\u00a0help getting dressed, putting on shoes, reaching things, brushing his teeth. He needs help getting buckled into his car seat, something he has been doing on his own lately. He insists on being carried\u00a0from the car into &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.crumbbums.com\/?p=6132\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;Hammering Stuff\/Butting Heads&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":6140,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[187],"tags":[119,48,93],"class_list":["post-6132","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-motherhood","tag-diy","tag-motherhood","tag-oliver"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.crumbbums.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6132","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.crumbbums.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.crumbbums.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.crumbbums.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.crumbbums.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6132"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/www.crumbbums.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6132\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":12036,"href":"https:\/\/www.crumbbums.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6132\/revisions\/12036"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.crumbbums.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/6140"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.crumbbums.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6132"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.crumbbums.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=6132"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.crumbbums.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=6132"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}