So far, summer break has been equal parts exhausting and loads of fun. Summertime is funny. One hour can be relaxing and heartwarming, all that family time and love and togetherness, while the next hour is full of screaming and crying and attempts to reason with/teach manners to a crazy wild beast. I love having my boys home, spending time with them and watching them come up with crazy summer schemes– but the older boys have been struggling with a rough transition from school to summer, with emotions running hot and more tears than we’ve seen over the course of three days than we’ve seen in the past three months! And I get it; they are exhausted from all of the school and circus activities that have culminated over the past month. A lot was going on, and now, suddenly, it’s not. It’s a huge adjustment.
I don’t remember if we experienced quite this level of emotional turmoil at the start of last summer, but man has it been intense! A lot of pushing against rules and limits, a lot of arguing and fighting and getting hurt (feelings, mostly, but also bodies), and a whole lot of whining and crying when the answer is no. And, predictably, the answer will be no over and over again when the questions revolve around finding and eating candy (which is hilarious since we don’t even keep candy in the house), watching videos, buying toys, and constant requests for junk food. More tears when everything is perceived as unfair.
And the interesting thing is, it isn’t about having nothing to do; rather, it’s about finding the right balance: the right amount of down time, alone time, chores, play time with friends, and one-on-one time with Mama (which is hard when there are three of them and one of me). They are sweet and helpful to each other one minute; tearing each other limb from limb the next. What the heck?
On day two (lord help me) of summer break, when Andrew came home from work to find me looking rather exasperated and wide-eyed with disbelief that things could be going so wrong so fast, he reminded me that sticking to my guns was essential during that first week, that I was setting the tone for the whole summer, and that I needed to just hold firm. I nodded as he spoke, and resisted the urge to slap him upside the head for saying it right at the time I was feeling about to boil over.
But he was right. All the no’s, all the rule-setting and reminders and family meetings (actual meetings on our back deck during which I sat cross-legged in a circle with three wet and cross little boys trying desperately to use my calmest teacher voice), all of it essential. And the hugs. Lots of hugs, couch cuddles, reassurance, and reading time in-between the bouts of crying and shouting and complaining and time-outs. I started to feel like I just needed a “NO” button in my back pocket. But I want to say yes! I want to stay positive! What the hell, guys?! Why do you keep asking me things you already know the answer to???
We’ve started reading charts and chore charts, we’ve banned the word “bored,” we’ve agreed on ways to earn spending money and a summer budget to keep us in check. We’ve started our own point system that leads to exciting family outings. We’ve said no to play dates when things aren’t going well, we’ve said yes to the library and a few playgrounds. We’ve left the zoo when it was just too crowded. We’re adjusting, and it isn’t easy. But it will be fun…
So much fun!
Once we make it through this rough patch… we’ll get there.
This might be my favorite post ever. Because I feel like when we look forward to something soooo much – like summer, or a big trip, or a birthday party – whatever it is – once we get there, there’s such a period of adjustment (and whining) that it makes me want to pull my hair out and scream “But this is what we all WANTED! How can you not be the happiest beings alive, ever?” Adjustment period is right.
Despite our best attempts to keep things organized and on schedule during May, it really, really wiped us out. And that’s with just a minimal amount of school related end of the year events – no recitals or performances – and we were still completely and utterly worn out. We are working on finding a different rhythm in our days, even though we’re still working. We all need the mental break that is summer vacation, and a little whining about being bored is probably part of that equation! (I secretly long to be lazy and bored at some point!)
I would love to figure out how to get my youngest to only ask for something once, and take ‘no’ for an answer! She’s relentless. And she also asks for things we don’t even have in the house, like soda. Or Netflix!
Hang in there – that fountain trampoline looks like so much fun. It’s going to be a great summer!
Seriously, where does the candy COME from? Strangers?
KRISTA!
Bring on the white, hot heat. That will wear them down.
Did Milo just finish P90X ?
Jon, I have no idea where this kid came from… he certainly does not get it from me!
These pictures are so cool! What a perfect idea that trampoline was. Ruby wears me down to the point of caving, almost daily. If I can win two decent battles with her a day, it feels like victory. I’ve never seen a child more savvy at converting a ‘no’… and she isn’t even three! I’m sure a trio of whining is a big challenge, hope you’re all settling in to summer fun 🙂