I guess the title of this blog would more accurately be “Sleep Preventer,” or “One Who Fails to Sleep” or even “Sleep Hater.” But “Sleep Destroyer” just seems so fitting. Destruction is really what seems to be taking place lately.
Over the past two weeks (or probably more, if I could only think straight), Milo has been slipping back into horrible sleep habits. He awakens six, sometimes seven times at night. And yes, I am counting, as I’m sure all of you would be doing out of a combination of frustration and an attempt to figure out some sort of pattern in order to STOP the insanity! I have no idea what to do.
If anyone has experienced this with their baby, toddler, anyone… suggestions would be welcome (that is, any suggestion to make it stop, not to tell me to accept this as normal and welcome my toddler into bed with me).
Here’s the scoop, if you’re interested. Milo has a bit of trouble falling asleep, but that’s not the real problem. At times, we can go into his bedroom and tell him in a stern voice, “Milo, go to sleep.” And it works. But most of the time, he wakes up screaming an hour after he goes to bed. Then, all hell breaks loose. Milo might sleep until 11 or 12, then awaken screaming again. But generally, the real trouble starts at about 3am, when he awakens hourly, sometimes every half hour crying. If left to his own devices, he screams and works himself into a frenzy for about an hour. At this point, I always intervene. Is this the problem? That I am going in there and picking him up after an hour of sweaty, crazy screaming? Andrew seems to think so. But I hate all this crying, and I can’t sleep. Not that I’m getting any sleep anyway.
So last night, I didn’t pick him up. I just kept going in there, turning on a little music for him, and gently pushing him down in his crib so he’s lying down again. I told him to go to sleep. This worked. All six times.
But how do I get him to stop waking up so often in the first place? What does he want? Doesn’t he need sleep? Is the real solution to ignore him all night long and just hope that after a few nights he will stop waking up? I hate the idea of this, but I’m ready to try anything for a good night’s sleep. I’m starting to feel like a crazy person.
I’m trying to remember what Reina did…it was sooo long ago, you know. I think it was around 8 or 9 months that my usually 12-hour sleeper decided to start waking up again. It lasted a few weeks, but I was told at the time this was normal because she was going through a phase of rapid growth and skill development. Basically her little brain just couldn’t settle down. Maybe that’s Milo’s deal, or the move is catching up with him, or he’ll develop the ability to function on 2 hours sleep like his Dad. In any case, good luck and hang in there!
He needs his ass whooped if you ask me.
Hi Lauren! Joan showed me this website and I love reading about Milo 🙂
When I was little I had this same problem My mom made “mommy cards” and I was allowed to call for her 3 times during the night. Each time I would call for her she would take one of the 3 “mommy cards” away and once they were gone they were gone. You could maybe try that . . . I don’t really remember how successful it was though haha.
Hi Lauren,
I’m so happy to see that you are loving DC. Our Danielle had this phase. My mother (and please take into account that this is Asian mom advise) said that the baby needs to feel security. I felt that I couldn’t let her control the situation. We came to an agreement. When Dani woke and cried, I would place my hand on her back or chest heavily and then gently patted, but I didn’t pick her up. This was very tiring but it seemed to work as it was required less and less until one morning I woke up and hadn’t applied the technique throughout the night! I don’t know if it actually worked or if Dani just grew out of it, but it seemed to last for a couple of months. Good luck. I now know why sleep deprivation is a torture technique.
Thanks for all your helpful comments! Molly, I love the “mommy card” idea for when Milo is a little older. I will definitely try that!
Crystal, I tried your technique last night and it really seemed to work well. Milo went to sleep a lot faster without me picking him up, and I think he will eventually learn that it isn’t worth it to wake up just for a hand on the back… or at least, let’s hope!
If not, I guess I could just resort to the anonymous comment. Just kidding.
I agree with the “ass-whooping” comment. It’s what the child wants.
I wonder if a warm rice cereal snack would help him sleep. I know that during the cold months, you and Jonathan always had a warm bowl of oatmeal or Cream of Wheat with brown sugar and milk before story time before bed. This is just a suggestion, and with the way Milo is growing, I just wonder if that would help?
Love, Mom