It often feels like a hamster wheel — the running and running and getting nowhere, emerging sweaty and breathless and a little bit dizzy. To say this weekend was the hamster wheel would be to admit that we went nowhere fast; the errands that turned into disasters as I found myself standing, in high heels and a dress, on the edge of the highway in cold rain with a flat tire as trucks whizzed past spraying dirty water into a mist around me. I will not let this shit ruin my day.
The kids were thankfully at home with Andrew, who I called from the side of the road, mostly ashamed that I had lost my confidence after all these years in being able to change a tire on my own. I realized later that I could have, should have done it myself, that I knew exactly how to do it, and promised myself stubbornly that next time I will — even if it means kicking off the heels and kneeling on the cold asphalt. But then I got totally lost on the way to stupid Costco, the whole point of the trip. The hamster wheel, I just keep pushing forward sometimes, going nowhere. 
Emil has proven (in case we did not learn from the two who came before him) that three is indeed the most emotional roller coaster of any age — he seems to have entered the insane stage where everything is a complete disaster and worth crying and crying and crying over.
For example:
Emil: WAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! AHHHH!
Mama: What’s wrong? Are you hurt?
Emil: NOOO! I can’t get dees hotels on my fing-ews! (He was trying to put a Monopoly hotel on every finger of each hand, unsuccessfully as he could not use the first hotel-covered hand to put hotels onto the other hand)
Mama: Oh, let me help you then!
Emil: No! I don’t like you.
No, of course you don’t. Typical.
What makes it harder for him is that the age gap seems to be magically closing between Milo and Oliver (they are 23 months apart) and they are always interested in doing the same things now, like playing Monopoly for hours on end, or discovering the properties of magnets, or reading (more like Milo reading out loud to Oliver). They try to include Emil in their games, but he is often just too little and either loses interest or becomes frustrated and feels like the odd man out. That’s the exact point at which he turns on them and decides the best way to interact with his big brothers is to torment them by flinging their Monopoly board or money into the air and running away laughing… or just randomly coming up behind them and hitting one of them (usually, nearly always Oliver) on the head with something very heavy and shockingly dangerous like a skateboard or rolling pin.
No joke, he has broken exactly two rolling pins over Oliver’s head in the past week.
But I digress…
We went to the Science Center on Sunday so Andrew could get a little work done in peace, and peace is what we (finally) found in an all-but-empty science center, as apparently everyone in this country cares about football games and I often forget about them until someone asks me my Superbowl party plans, to which I respond, “I’m sorry, what?”
It’s not a snobby thing, I promise. It’s just not a thing I have ever cared about or participated in growing up. And not having a television makes it even more elusive. Not a bad thing. Just a thing I’m completely out of touch with. But we had fun, man did we ever!
All three boys spent the majority of our time there at the coolest topographic map exhibit, made with some sand and some kind of magic projection from above that makes the different elevations change color as you move the sand around.
But the highlight of their day happened when the nice concession stand lady snuck the boys some gummy worms for free, and Oliver shoved one up under his upper lip like Fire Marshall Bill. I laughed so hard I almost peed. About as hard as I laughed when I turned the corner to see Oliver like this:
It’s so hard being little.
Hope you have a great week ahead of you. Even if some of it feels like running in circles.
Hope your weekend was fantastic and full of all the best kinds of mischief!
