The Thing About Boys

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I write about raising boys. I’m not in the business of raising girls; if I were, perhaps this would be a more balanced space for parents and parents-to-be, but this is what I have. This is what I know. And though I try not to make generalizations about gender and instead try to point out that there are so many variations within a group instead of between them, the truth is, my observations and experiences have lead me to draw several conclusions about boys.

They need to move. While my mama friends with girls would sit and chat next to me on the couch, their little girls would often stay close by and seem genuinely interested in what we had to say while my boys tore around the house, flitting from one thing to the next and sometimes quite literally climbing the walls of the house. The need for boys to move often comes at a price when they are in a traditional school setting and are no longer able to move freely about. This may be why many more boys are diagnosed with ADHD (and subsequently medicated) than girls.

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They are not as aggressive as you might thinkSure, they are physical, but a lot of that touch is hugging, wrestling, and all around sweet. My boys will be tackling each other one minute, hugging the next. There is a push-pull that occurs as they learn to find their own limits and the limits of their brothers and peers.

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They cry. A lot. Seriously, I had no idea how much crying there would be.

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They get over it. I am continually amazed by how quickly my boys move on from hurt feelings or hurt bodies and forgive and forget. They never stay mad for long, which is so refreshing.

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They need male role modelsObviously, this is the same for girls. What has surprised me about boys is just how closely they pay attention to the male adults in their lives. They seem to hear everything our male friends say, and to notice everything they do. This is a case for being selective in the male role models you allow into your inner circle. It’s also a case for keeping the radio low during an election year… eh, ehm.

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How about you? What are your observations in raising girls? Boys? I’d love to hear your thoughts!

Dress That Mama: Dusty Rose & Vermillion

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A color combination that I find works surprisingly well: dusty rose and vermillion. I wore this on a recent visit to the Contemporary Art Museum to see the Kelley Walker exhibit. Aware of all of the recent controversy over this artist’s work (specifically with regard to fear of cultural appropriation of the black community), I tried to keep an open mind while viewing the Direct Drive exhibit (not shown in this post). However; I had a strongly negative, visceral reaction to the work. I completely sympathize with the negative reaction felt by so many in the black community in St. Louis.

While I understand the issue of censorship in the art world, I do believe that who is doing the art (and who is talking about the issues behind this art) is an important piece not to be overlooked, especially when that artist is making money off those images. At the very least, I feel Walker could have done a better job discussing his intent or even advocating for the injustices of the black community, even if we give him the benefit of the doubt that his intentions were not to exploit them.  Continue reading “Dress That Mama: Dusty Rose & Vermillion”

Weekend Shenanigans

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The love affair we have with the entire month of October continues… it just never fails to deliver. It’s a magical time of year- the colors, the light, the weather, the long shadows- they are delightful. On top of it all, we are going through a time of growth within our family, each and every one of us. Despite the gradual slowing-down season, things in our household are shifting. Continue reading “Weekend Shenanigans”