Somewhere in the midst of a very busy weekend, I was able to cherish a few hours spent alone with Milo when we ventured out to the playground and green space near our house on a very warm day. Only last Wednesday we had been bombarded with snow, enough even for a snow day! Hard to believe, and easy to forget when the sun is pounding down and the ground is warm beneath your feet… until you come across the giant snowballs from only a few days before. And so, we never made it to the playground. Instead, I had the absolute treat of sitting in the warm sun and watching as, for two straight hours, my eight-year-old ran, jumped, smacked and whacked snowballs, splashed barefoot in mud, and was completely and utterly, (and joyfully) entirely in his own head. He barely said two words to me, acted as if I wasn’t there, and didn’t even notice when I moved farther away to sit on the sidewalk (where it was dry).
The importance of an inner world, a world in which one thinks, figures out, observes, engages in an inner dialogue including self-talk and imagined scenarios, is not to be overlooked. I remember having this vibrant inner life at this age, and could be alone for hours just thinking and working through things. The result is such a sense of satisfaction, of being completely free, with the whole world ahead of you. The inner world of a child is crucial to self-regulation: of emotions, of physicality, of problem-solving and soul-searching and being at one with himself. It is the one thing that a child must do on his own — to be with himself and be happy in his own company, and to feel nourished and whole afterwards. 
How much time do we give our children to do this? Enough? Any at all? 
Do we value an entire afternoon of free and open play? Of having not one single activity we’ve planned for them in advance? Do we see how important this is?
Do we feel alright with ourselves as parents when we leave the baseball bat and glove at home and just let our kid bring a stick? Are we alright with sitting quietly in the sun and not interrupting him? Even when we’re ready to go, or feeling bored? Do we see the value in his time, even if it looks silly to us? Do we see the meaning in this? 
How important is a child’s inner life? The thoughts and reflections that we will never hear, never know? How seriously do we take that?
What an incredible thing, the inner world. I feel so lucky to have had the opportunity to be this way as a child, and I vow to make it a priority for my children as well.
Have a wonderful Monday.
I had a tree swing in the house I lived in until I was 13. The ropes were so long – I would swing out over the hill and be a hundred zillion feet in the air. I would swing for hours and work out everything there – talking aloud to myself.
My girls putter around on their own like this most weekend afternoons. I wish we had more time during the week for this, but we make every effort to allow as much of this unstructured time as possible on the weekends. It’s not perfect, but it’s always good to know what we’re aiming for. My oldest dives into books or some sort of art project, but the little one is really into hauling around stuff in the yard – from one pile to another. She never stops talking to herself while she does it. It’s so much fun to watch.
We kept finding snow piles like this over the weekend and they looked so out of place and odd.
I love this so much, the photos and your thoughtful writing. My favorite: “It is the one thing that a child must do on his own — to be with himself and be happy in his own company, and to feel nourished and whole afterwards.”