This Day


On this day, 24 years ago, my father passed away. I miss him in a way that is hard to explain — it is no longer a gut-wrenching, agonizing grief, but a someone-is-missing way. It’s a melancholy ache I feel when I think of all that I want to share with him, and so I share him with them, with anyone who will listen, really, but mostly with my boys, who never knew him. I tell him about his gangly, goofy walk, of his hot temper, of his practical jokes and love of art and photography.

I tell them the stories my aunt told me about when he was a boy hiding in her closet for what felt like hours to her, until just the right moment, and springing out to scare her after she had been sitting at her desk for so long she had been sure she was alone. I tell them about the funny ways he said certain things, sayings that Andrew and I often banter back and forth between laughter. It’s how he lives on — through his art that hangs on our walls, on the walls of our family and friends, on the walls of galleries across the country from where they were taken so many years before — but also through our words, our stories, our memories and the feelings that flood our hearts when we think of him.

Today, we celebrate you, Dad. We miss you, but you are with us always.

17 thoughts on “This Day”
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  1. Oh, what a photo.

    This post really touched me. I have such a close relationship with my father, it’s just so hard for me to imagine life without him, particularly in my adult years. And my girls are so close to their father, I honestly feel like my biggest wish for them is that he lives a long, full life and that they remain so close throughout the years.

    I’m glad you have so many good memories and stories and the beauty of his work to share. I’m sorry you didn’t have more years together. I’m sure he would have delighted in those years with you as well.

    1. Yes, Kristin, when I see how close my boys are to their father, it is so heartwarming and bittersweet. I too hope that my boys don’t have to go through the loss of a parent too young. It’s certainly hard on kids to go through something like that.

  2. Thank you for sharing. An uplifting reminder to enjoy the short amount of time we have with our loved ones. Your dad seems like he was a super cool guy.

  3. Such a lovely photo and wonderful tribute to your Dad. You are doing a great job of keeping the memory of him alive. Hugs!!!

  4. Such a wonderful photo and beautiful tribute to your Dad. You are doing a great job keeping the memory of his alive. Hugs!!!

  5. This is a beautiful tribute to your dad. You do a great job of articulating when on such an anniversary many people would be at a loss for words. I am thinking of you on this day.

    1. Erika, thank you. I know you understand loss and the importance of memories. Hope you are doing well. We carry those we have lost with us everywhere! I hope you have good memories of your sister.

  6. Such a sad day for all of us who loved your dad, Lauren. You are a beautiful reflection of him and he would be so very proud of you. I have so many fond memories of our childhood together, even jumping out of the closet at me! I love you so much.

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