Recently I have become aware of just how much joy I feel watching my boys play. I sit on the wall at the playground, sometimes warmed by the sun, sometimes feeling the chill of an unseasonably cool wind. It is easier for me to just be lately. To be still and here, in this moment. I am hyper-aware of the shift in the seasons, watching as my boys remove their shoes and socks, one by one, and toss them over my way somewhere in the direction of the stroller. They are so engrossed they barely slow down as they strip off sweaty socks inside out, half balled-up and landing where they may.
Now that Emil needs less spotting on the playground equipment (let’s face it, he never needed much spotting and I never was that hovering parent anyway), I watch from a distance as he navigates his way through an intense pretend game with his brothers. This one involves a monster (him), bombs (large wood chips), a control tower (the top of the slide), a loyal and trusty soldier (Oliver) and the “master” (Milo). It involves running hard and climbing hard and swinging and jumping and laughing and roaring. There are head-long dives down the twisty slide, bumps and bruises that are barely acknowledged. They play so hard, so intensely. I can see how they will transfer this passion of playing into other passions some day.
I watch as their relationships with each other grow so strong, I have to blink away tears. Their care for their brothers is unflappable. They fight and argue, then hug even harder. They put their arms around each other’s shoulders while sauntering, the manliest of men with the most tender hearts.
Watching all of it brings me the deepest joy in parenting. There is nothing more amazing to me than watching siblings test the waters of relationships- to push and pull and discuss, to fight and make up, to teach and compliment and encourage, to miss each other and embrace upon reuniting after school every day. I am beyond lucky to bear witness to these fleeting moments, this youth and innocence. There is such meaning in this life.
Have a wonderful Mother’s Day weekend.