Emil-isms

Newly five years old, Emil has managed to keep us all laughing daily. He has a scratchy little voice that, alone, would work its magic on the hardest of hearts; when combined with the quirky things he says, it’s just pure comedy over here. Here is version 6.0 of Emil-isms.

You know why I did that? (let the dog out to play with him in the yard) My brain was controlling my body, telling my body to be nice. I have a nice brain. BYE! YOU’RE THE BEST! (slams door and runs outside)

I have a blue power cord inside my body. (I assume he was referring to the blueish veins he sees through his skin)

(While walking home from the pool this past summer, just the two of us) Mama, if you were a robin, would you fly into my arms? Because if I were a robin, I would fly into your arms. But if you were a earthworm, I would peck you into a billion pieces! But you would still be alive! Because I love you!

(After I asked how his day at camp was) I got in trouble for kicking Evie in the “pagina.” Then she took my fist and punched me in the face. So I’m really badly hurt. 

My heart is full of kindness. That’s why I shared my FroYo with Papa. 

Mama, why did you decide to grow me? 

Mama, WHY aren’t you growing another baby? 

(When asked why he wasn’t in bed at night) Because I was farting in Oliver’s face instead. (Oliver confirmed this to be true)

Moooooommmmm (whining while walking up to the third floor) — Why do we have stairs and not just a giant hill? 

After a rough night during which Andrew had to give Emil an emergency albuterol inhaler for some very scary wheezing, Emil turned to Andrew, hugged him, and said, I don’t know who started this trouble. Let’s hit the road. He then turned, lay down in his bed, and promptly fell asleep.

For my birfday, I just want to do wheelies on my bike all day. It’s my birfday all day, I’m the boss. 

Other Emil-isms: Age 2 1/2, Age 3, Age 3 years, 3 months, Age 3 1/2, and Age 4 1/2

I hope you have a wonderful, maybe hilarious, weekend!